2008 was the year life began to change again. Not so unexpected as it was year 1 of a 7 year cycle for me. Every 7 years we start a new 7 year cycle -so age 7,14,21,28 and so on. It just happened so quietly initially that I was unaware.

I had kind of given up on my dreams in 2007. So many things hadn’t worked out and my hitting my head against the proverbial brick wall had been painful. My “normal” life was accepted and my dreams of great romance, fame, children and wealth were all released. Who was I to believe I was anything other than just a woman from Scotland who had tried and failed and was fortunate to have healed myself from the horrible illness that is M.E. . I could now take care of myself, enjoy a relationship with my new boyfriend , had a job that paid my bills and was able to enjoy some nice holidays. I had a LIFE!  It was enough and I was grateful for a while!

The first thing that changed this, after the split from my “normal” boyfriend     (Christmas  2007 -he ended it-not me!) was the news of a suicide.

One of the girls (let’s call her Jane to protect identities) who had done courses in Huna and NLP  alongside me (with the same trainer)  took her own life. She had a history of extreme self harm and suicidal tendencies. We weren’t particularly friendly but I had tried-as had many others- to help her with an astrology reading so I knew it was a tough time for her and she had a really tough birthchart-never believe those who say we come into this life a clean slate. That is total garbage!

Anyway I was visiting a mutual friend and fellow personal development enthusiast who knew this girl too and who had been part of similar courses.  She was giving me a loan of some business building CD’S  and I was playing them as I drove around doing my research for the MRC. I had actually applied to be part of the course in early 2007  but been turned down -so maybe the Universe wanted me to hear what had been happening in my absence! I was going to give my business another try-just like Robert the Bruce and his spider -I kept trying!

Anyway as we chatted she said “has Jane done it yet?” and I said “What?” She said “taken her own life ?” and I said I didn’t know as I hadn’t spoken with her for months nor heard any news. I didn’t  have any reason to contact her really. But within a week I heard she was dead by e-mail. She had taken her own life on the 8th February 2008. I look back on that conversation and believe it was my cue from the Universe to contact  Jane.Perhaps I could have done something. I will never know for sure but I am writing this to say I wish I had at least tried!

So that was what drew me back into personal development. The desire for answers,for deeper healing, for giving it one more try,for closure,for peace of mind! I signed up to repeat a  practitioners  course on NLP  on the weekends from March 2008 to July 2008 and the anchor tune was Utah Saints-”Something good is going to happen”. As it happened the good things seemed to evade me and be replaced by the loss of my Dad and Grandad-but who was I to judge that those weren’t just what I needed to heal and move forward.

After my Dad passed on in May 2008 I then signed up for a writing workshop in Edinburgh. Thus my forthcoming book “Sacred Paths Entwined” was born and that was the title I gave it back then. My Mum and I were booked to go to Belfast for a 5 day break in June. As we had arranged my Dad’s funeral, brochures started to arrive in the post saying “come to Belfast and Northern Ireland” When I asked about them my Mum told me that My Dad had sent for them as they were planning to go together if his health allowed. As my life path and purpose seemed to be linked to an experience with someone from Belfast that I had met in July 1988,  it  seemed curious to say the least!  I took it as a sign and followed it. I had also had one of my healer friends on the phone for a few days after my Dad’s death, crying her eyes out due to channeling some long lost love that she needed to tell me about.  My heart had been wide open with all that had happened and it was all very curious to say the least!

So with my book started and the trip to Belfast arranged, my Grandad suddenly became poorly. He was 95, had lost his sight and was living in a nursing home with my Gran.

On 6th June 2008 he passed on just under 1 month after my Dad. It felt like a sign-A BIG SIGN!

My Mum had been adopted at age 3 after being born illegitimate during the war. So she had lost her Husband and her adopted Father within 4 weeks. Her own Father-who she had never met was apparently a sailor who may have died in the 2nd World war  on a  ship-The Hood. He was never spoken about and it was only during my own journey of healing that I had asked some difficult questions of my Gran to release what was blocked in my own body. She told me her story in July 1998 after I had been “guided” to ask her  and I cried and felt closer to her than I ever had at any time. I knew we had experienced something very similar and precious at a deep level.

So off to Belfast we went to heal this pattern and to help me and my Mum release the ghosts of our past.

A few curious things stick out from that trip. Firstly I discovered that Titanic was built in Belfast and as the film Titanic had been part of my own release it felt a bit spooky. Then we went to the cinema -The Odyssey cinema in Belfast-which means long journey of course to see Indiana Jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull-and it’s all about a long lost love of 20 years ago.  Sometimes I felt like the Universe was playing a huge joke on me-and everyone else kept telling me I was crazy and deluded! They should try walking in my shoes I thought! I kept my mouth shut most of the time by now for fear of being completely ridiculed by many of my personal development companions-that would come later!

Anyway whilst there I applied for a job with Atos Healthcare. My contract with the MRC was complete and I needed another job to pay my bills. My 12 hours with NHS 24 wasn’t enough and my business was more of a hobby especially since every time I tried to get serious about it things seemed to go wrong-like my Dad passing on! I had actually been doing Timeline therapy with a paying client in late April 2008 in my home when my Mum phoned in a state saying my Dad had taken a bad turn-this had been a repeat pattern for me and I was tired of fighting it all the time to try to make my business work!

So I applied to Atos with some trepidation (as it wasn’t my dream job) and waited to see if I would get an interview. Things had went a bit pear shaped with my NHS 24 post due to the 2 bereavements and there had been a lot of bullying by one of the male managers going on. In fact quite a few of my colleagues went off sick within a few weeks of me starting there and all wasn’t well. I had felt an atmosphere and when this was turned on me due to my calls not being up to scratch the day before my Dad went into a coma (3rd may)-you can imagine that I felt I was being bullied too! I had been shaken up that day seeing him poorly but I was always someone with a strong work ethic and had went back to complete my shift. Nothing bad had happened to anyone-no-one died but my calls just weren’t as good as they could have been-apparently!! Within the next few weeks all hell broke loose in the workplace and many of my very competent colleagues were forced to leave due to this bullying. I experienced this too and left in September 2008 (more like constructive dismissal) to work with Atos Healthcare. Thus my life changed and the scene was set for what would transform it completely in 2009 when I cast my Sacred contract!

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
Through the unknown, unremembered gate
When the last of earth left to discover
Is that which was the beginning;
At the source of the longest river
The voice of the hidden waterfall
And the children in the apple-tree
Not known, because not looked for
But heard, half-heard, in the stillness
Between two waves of the sea.
Quick now, here, now, always—
A condition of complete simplicity
(Costing not less than everything)
And all shall be well and
All manner of thing shall be well
When the tongues of flame are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one.

T. S. Eliot Four Quartets.